To get into a relationship is easy but to maintain it is the toughest part. It takes a lot to keep things smooth between you and your partner. From love to care for sex, everything is needed to carve a beautiful relationship. Many of you may argue that sex or intimacy is not important in a relationship. You probably fall in that category of people who believes that love is everything you need. Well, this may be true to some extent or work for a few couples but not all of them fall in the same category.
When it comes to maintaining a relationship, physical relation is actually important. Both of you have your needs and when it’s not fulfilled, people start looking for it somewhere else. A big percentage of people cheat because they are not satisfied with their partners. In other words, their partners are not able to provide the pleasure they need or there is not enough sex in the relation.
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There are many couples who are living in a sexless relationship. For some, it is fine while others may get frustrated. Having said that, let’s find out whether it is fine to be in a sexless relationship or not.
How can having no sex affect your relationship?
Before we suggest you with ways to fix your sexless relationship, let’s find out how it can actually affect your relationship with your partner.
Sex is actually an important part of every relationship. Whether you are married or not, every couple desires to have sex. You say love is important. Well, how do you express or show your love to your partner? Of course, through physical intimacy. We, humans, are designed to show our love to our respective partners through sex. Unlike animals, we don’t have sex only to reproduce.
Sex for human beings has a very different meaning. Perhaps, we are the only species on earth that enjoy having sex. When such is the case, sex becomes an important part of our lives. There can be so many reasons why you may end up in a sexless relationship. For example, you guys are not attracted to each other, either of you is having an affair outside, you don’t find sex interesting anymore, your partner is not able to satisfy you, etc. Depending on the reason it can have a moderate or drastic effect on your relationship.
Here is how it may have an impact on your relationship.
- When you both stop having sex because one of you are not attracted to the other, it’s a very big problem. Let’s say your partner has lost interest in you. This clearly means that he has either found someone better or you are just not attractive to him anymore. In either of the cases, it may tear you guys apart. Before you guys reach such a point, it’s better to sit and have a chat and end things on a good note. Or if you both are willing then you can even fix things.
- When you stay too long without having sex with your partner tension between you two increases. There are less love and more fights in the relation. In fact, fights at times can get really ugly. This will eventually make you people distant from each other.
- In case, if you are the one who has stopped providing sex to your partner, you are clearly forcing him/her to look for it outside the relationship. Just because you don’t need sex doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t need it too. This type of situations always leads the other partner to cheat. If you don’t want any such thing to happen, you shouldn’t take such unnecessary decisions. However, if you have a valid reason for not having sex with your partner, for example, some illness or health issue, you can talk it out with your partner. But any reason apart from that is generally not welcomed in a relation.
- If you are married, it can even lead to a divorce. In the case of unmarried couples, it can cause a break-up. Therefore, not having sex is never a good decision. When you are in a relationship, you need to respect each other’s needs. Sex is also a kind of need and it’s your responsibility to provide it to your partner.
From the above points, we can draw the conclusion that without sex a relationship becomes bitter. No matter how much love you guys have for each other, it soon starts to fade as frustration starts to creep in.
How to fix a sexless relationship?
It may come to you as a shock but there are actually thousands of couples out there who are currently in a sexless relation. What do you think, what should they do? Walk off or fix it? Just so you don’t have any regrets later on it is actually better to give it a try. What we mean is that you should at least try once to fix it. If it still doesn’t work, you always have the door open for you. To help you out, we have listed certain guidelines or tips that you can follow to fix your sexless relationship.
- Be honest with your partner
Keeping things bottled up will only make things worse. Therefore, it’s better to discuss it out with your partner. Communication can solve problems which otherwise wouldn’t get solved. However, you need to make sure that it is two-way communication. You need to let your partner know what you want. Well, this holds true only when you are the one who is out of the mood. In case, it’s just the opposite, you should get to the root cause of it. In other words, you need to ask your partner why they don’t want sex with you anymore. Having a discussion on sex in such a situation can really make you feel awkward but you have to do it. This is needed for the betterment of your relationship.
- Make an effort
When you know that you are at fault, you should make an effort to fix it. It is very much possible that you are unable to stand up to your partner’s expectations. You see, we all have needs and wants. When in a relationship, it is your responsibility to fulfill the needs of your partner. If you are unable to satisfy your partner chances are that he/she will lose interest to have sex with you. This is where you need to make an effort to fix things. Instead of getting into an argument with your partner, you should rather ask him/her what they want or what they like. Based on that you should mend your techniques. There is nothing to be ashamed of. There are many people out there who still need to work on their sex skills. Don’t forget that you learn better when you practice it more.
- Find other ways of physical intimacy
When you are extremely close to your partner having sex with him/her may feel jarring. This type of situation holds true when two friends get into a relationship with each other. But the good news is that this is very much fixable. Since you guys are not able to work it out in bed, why not try some other ways of getting physical with your partner? For example, you can kiss, hug and cuddle. All this feels as great as sex. The best thing to do is to first get used to each other physically. Once you guys are cool with cuddling, you can take it a step higher and start making out. You should take it step-by-step rather than rushing into it. After you have successfully made out and feel fine about it, you can take the big step to have sex with each other. This will automatically take away all the awkwardness between you guys.
- Work together
This relationship is carried forward by both of you. When you are hit with such a situation, it calls for joint cooperation. You cannot leave the entire thing on your partner. If you guys are facing some problems, you both need to work on it together. This is the best way to solve any kind of problem with couples. Playing the blame game and fighting with each other won’t take you, people, anywhere. Therefore, it’s better to act like real adults and work on it together so that you guys come up with a concrete solution.
Sex is no doubt very important in any relationship. It helps you to hold a relationship together. Along with that it also allows you to get closer to your partner. However, if you guys are facing some sort of problem with your sex life, you should talk it out, instead of bottling it up. This will only make things worse between you two. There are a lot of things you can do to fix things. What you choose is up to you.